In high school, most people have troubles with being accepted. People of all different backgrounds are thrown into one school and expected to fend for themselves. Kids are kids and they are trying to find themselves and be who they want to be but being in an unaccepting school can cause these kids to hide and not share with other people who they are.
I have been dealing with being bullied all of my life because I am a male cheerleader. And apparently, to the stereotypical kids, being a male cheerleader automatically makes you gay. And what people don’t understand is WHO CARES!? How does any of my business have anything to do with anyone else’s high school experience? It doesn’t, so obviously kids just say things to have power over someone else because it makes them feel better about themselves.
So, in your comment, I would like you to tell me your theories of kids and bullies. Why do you think they do it? Are the jealous? Or are they just mean people? And I would also like you to share a personal experience or two about being bullied or being not accepted in school. We are in this class that is the most accepting group of kids in the whole school. So I want these comments to be positive and conversational between us students. Everyone deserves a place to feel good about themselves. If you do not feel comfortable sharing personal stories, DO NOT SHARE. I only want you to share if you feel comfortable!:)
Author: Nathan Allen
Bloggers,
ReplyDeletePlease remember that this blog is completely public information. Please refrain from using specific names in your posts, which will result in administrative consequences. I want you to write uninhibitedly, but make sure to exercise caution when formulating your thoughts.
Happy writing!
Theories on bullies:
ReplyDeleteWell... I tend to not say bad things about other people, even if it is just in general. I think every voice deserves to be heard when they have something to say. It's hard for me to sit back and watch someone get picked on, even if it's just on Television or something like that. I wish more people would understand that peace and harmony will forever be better than hatred and hypocrisy. But perhaps that's just me...?
I don't want anyone to ever feel left out or lonely. It doesn't matter to me whether someone LOOKS mean, or depressed, or whatever else someone could look like that is not friendly. First impressions can mean a lot, but they are not everything. If I had gone on first impressions alone when I got to MCHS in the middle of the school year, I would not have made some of my best friends.
In truth, the first month I was here, I was afraid of everyone and everything. I had no idea where the heck I was going, I wanted to kill whomever had made the third floor in this school, and I had no friends here. I think, in the first month I was here, MAYBE two full sentences left my mouth. But that was because I was so afraid of what people would say to me. At my old school, bullies tore through the hallways as if they were on demon's wings and would target the most vulnerable of us all. They would tear into the weaker kids like a hungry pride of lions, and I happened to be one of their favorites to devour. I was pushed down in the hallways, and I was even pushed down the stairs a couple times. I was called many things, because of the people I hung out with, and the clothes I wore, and my faith. But as you said, Nathan- None of that should matter. People are people, no matter what.
When I was there, I didn't realize I had the option to speak up. I only spoke when spoken to, even when with my friends. I was quiet, and secretive, and I felt like I never belonged.
But then I came here. And after that first month, I realized that everyone was rather inviting, and bullies were minimal, and I was no longer a victim. And now I can say that I survived that Hellish torment, and that I have made lifelong friends here. And I can only hope other people hear this story, and realize that they are not alone, and they too can make it through.
True, true.
DeleteAs my parents like to say: people suck.
You see, my mom works in retail, and (aside from highschool), I've found that people are for some reason extremly terrible to workers. I HAVE NO CLUE WHYYYYYY, but it's true. My mom comes home sad a lot of times from having to deal with "the crazies" and "*ssholes" of the world. Maybe people want to take advantage of the worker's JOB to be nice? I dont know, but what I do know is that tuesday is my mom's last day in management! She has HAD IT with "people" and has decided to quit. ANd you know what? I'm happy for her. She's CHOOSING to leave the "crazies, *asshole, and people" of the coustomer-retail world and finally relax.
..............
SOrry for going on about my mom, but it's just that she's been through practically everything. She lost her mom at a young age, was a cheerleader, a christian, a nerd, *coughcuttercough*, a teen mom, silent, a hater, a lover, a victim of bullies, and most everything in between. She's one of my greatest role models because she got PAST all of that and is the fun-loving young mom that I know and love so much. She is great to me.
Funny story, I met my best friend in Kindergarten and I thought she was the meanest girl on the planet, plus I didn't like her hair. One day I called to her, "Hey you," and we talked the whole rest of the day. I found out so many interesting things about her that I would have never known! Since then we have been the best of friends. I think people need to give each other a chance, you never know who may become your best friend!
DeleteSarah, you are such a remarkable person. I admire you, I truly do(:
Deleteokay, so my theory on bullies is that the only reason they bully others is because they have low self-esteem. Most kids at our age do, but these bullies feel like they can build up their self-esteem by cutting others down to gain power. Another theory is that these bullies had been bullied in the past, and now they want to get revenge or deal with that anger from it; even if it's on innocent classmates.
ReplyDeleteI will admit that even in Minooka there are bullies. I know it's not as bad as most schools, but there is plenty of bullying going on in secret. I have been bullied plenty in the past for many things. My cheerfulness, my shortness, my friends, my choice of music, being a "nerd", and for being bi-sexual. Others for no reason I know. Last year, in Channahon, I was actually pushed down the stairs and broke 3 fingers. I was shoved against lockers, had my books stolen, and had nasty rumors spread about me. This year, I have been called names, tripped in the halls, had a drink dumped on me, and somebody even put a hate note on my locker. I try to ignore them, but it only works for so long. I went to the deans office at the beginning of 2nd semester and it got a little bit better. I can't stand seeing people get bullied. I know that pain of feeling worthless and like everyone is against you. If I see somebody getting bullied, I ALWAYS speak up. I am always there for people who are picked on and bullied, because I can relate. I now have many friends who are there for me to turn to when things get bad. If you're getting bullied, speak up. It's the only way to make them stop. Chances are, you're not alone and the more people who speak up, the better the chance to stop the bully
This is true. Obviously minooka isnt as bad as other schools, but it does feel like the ones that ARE here liek to hide. They talk and hardly do anything, but sometimes words can hurt more than actions~
DeleteI agree with you. My old school; now that was Hell (and NOT in some fancy hand-basket that people tend to mention a lot). And it was not only for me, either. My best friends got bullied just like me, but none to the extent of being pushed down the stairs and such.
DeleteHowever, they knew how to stick up for themselves; at least they did for a little while. I didn't have that luxury. I was the "perpetually mute one," until I came here. But now that I am not in that day-to-day Lake of Fire, I can see that my life would not have been so difficult to live if I had just spoken a little.
At least now I know, and can tell anyone else the same.
I agree. It's sad how bad Minooka used to be or maybe it was just for my sister, but Minooka sounded horrible when she went there.
DeleteHmm, bullies.
ReplyDeleteI don't really think of them a lot, because the only reason I believe that anyone bullies is because of the attention it gets them from classmates. Sort of a "let's see who can make this kid mad so we can all laugh at him" type of thing. The kid who gets the most people to break tends to be the "class clown" or the "cool kid".
Through the five years in Minooka, I have been many things. All through middle school, I was eternally shy. I said little to nothing, and it took until around halfway through seventh grade for me to make what I concider friends. Even then I was targeted and picked on, and the only thing that saved me from complete physical torment was my size and looks; or, basically, what my physical features were. On top of that, I struggled greatly with my sexuality, and often was tormented in locker rooms and called "lesbian" even before I identified myself as that.
When I hit freshman year of high school, I decided that I would have no more of any of it. No more fighting myself on what I was, and no more getting pushed around by everyone. I came out as lesbian, and I can honestly say that the day that I wore my "I'm Lesbian" shirt was the best day of my life; not because of the things that happened to me, but because from then on I viewed myself as better than I ever had before in my whole life. I stopped getting bullied and started to talk to others more. By the start of this school year, I had no issues with talking to others. And, while my social anxiety still exists and impacts my day-to-day life, I learned to overcome it and progress.
But, recently mostly, I find myself getting bullied again; but, this time, it is by people I concider "friends". I'm still called "Dyke" and "Lesbian" and someone even dipped low enough on the maturity level to start calling me "Straight".
And, dipping even lower, I had pictures of me and my girlfriend of that time taken by someone before school one day, after both of us (especially her) getting repeatedly harassed by this kid.
There's bullying everywhere. It doesn't stop, no matter what you do. But you know what? You can do things to deflect it. In my opinion, ignoring it is like asking for more, or my experiences with it proved so. The only thing that's worked for me is fighting back; if someone is going to go low enough to murmur "Dyke" as they pass me by, then I'm going to defend myself and give them the beautiful little finger and a few choice words. I remember one time it happened, when I did just that, and turned around to see a teacher standing right behind me. She simply smiled at me and told me to have a good weekend before moving on.
I'm not telling anyone to go around and be rude for no reason, but I believe that if you are going to get picked on, then you have a right to defend yourself.
The last part is especially true~ if people are treating you like crap, then you should be able to defend yourself! Like I said in my response to Sarah--people suck.
DeleteAnd I hope i'm not one of those idiot friends in your eyes 0___0; I dont *think* I do that stuff, but I might be wrong ._____.;
Nahh, you're not Emily, haha.
DeleteI agree with all of your comments and I have faced very similar things in my past. In eighth grade this kid inky gym class would call me names like fag, queer, gay boy, and many other things that I would normally never think twice about. But it wasn't until one day when he told me that my brother must hate me because I'm gay and I like dudes (my brother was a big football jock at minooka who landed himself in the newspaper six times a got a full ride to college). But this was the last straw. I turned to the kid and punched him right in the face (6 times). I was over being pushed him around. I told the kid at the end that my brother loves me and it doesn't matter if im gay, straight, bi, transgender, fat, skinny, tall, short, my brother loves me for who I am because a brother is a brother. I told him that his brother must be the one that hates him because he is not accepting of other people. So in the end I got suspended for three days and he got two. But it was nice to come home and my dad take me to a movie to celebrate my sticking up for myself. That's when I realized I have people who love me and accept me so I should cherish them forever. So thank you guys for your comments!:)
ReplyDeleteI would have rewarded you too, haha :D
Deleteonly 6, man i would have gone to town on that kid. :D
DeleteLet's see, it's hard for me to talk about bullying because I'm really conflicted about the issue. Obviously, I think bullying, physically and mentally, is one of the worst experiences to go through, but my problem is is that I feel as though I'm a hypocrite because I talk about my fair share of people too. I don't want to preach something that I do not particularly practice 100%. It is also hard for me to talk about it because it literally breaks my heart. I guess, I'm a blinded optimist? I don't like to face the cruel world that currently surrounds me.
ReplyDeleteRecently I saw a kid in the hallway just walking to class, but what was different about him was that he had a sad expression on his face plus he was walking with his head completely down. I wanted nothing more than to just take his problems away, but I know it's not that easy. I would love to help everyone overcome their bullying ordeals, but to constantly listen to someones issues could drive me mad! I will say this: I do not tolerate bullying of any sort. I was taught to stand up for myself no matter what the cost. I am a very protective and outspoken person so if I ever see any instance of bullying I have NO problem interjecting. I guess, I'm more susceptible to help those I see being physically bullied. I think it's because you can see the immediate effects. With mental bullying you never know what goes on in their minds. I applaud anyone who goes to get help from an adult or guardian for bullying, it's not the coward thing to do at all! The way I look at it is: either get help or reach your breaking point and snap.
I do think bullying is a part of growing up, sadly. If you can survive your younger years I think you can do anything. Well, I have been the butt of some pretty harsh jokes, but I cannot say I've been bullied on a regular bases. I know how it feels for your whole body to get hot and your eyes swell up with tears when you hear your everything being ripped apart. Everyone laughs and you feel helpless. You just wish they would stop or that you could crawl into your imaginary turtle shell. I always wish I could freeze time and whoop some keister! Being the only African-American in some of my classes I won't hear the end of "the good black jokes." I've learned to take the good with the bad, though. I've become numb to it, I guess, and block out my feelings. I just quietly sit back and take note of all that's being said. I cannot further my friendship with people who can't accept me for what I am. I tell people I don't care what they say, but sometimes it really does get to me. Unfortunately racism still exists today and I don't think it will ever go away, but I have learned that their are so many more opportunities given to me because of my race so I just brush it aside; after all I am an optimist :)
I like the fact that you say that you dont like bullying but you do admit that you do talk about other people and you're not trying to pull an "Im holyier than thou" type of stuff.
DeleteNathan, I think that what you do is awesome. You have true courage. It's not easy to do something different than everyone else. But you don't let that stop you from doing what you love. I admire that about you.(:
ReplyDeletethank you sooooo much!:)
DeleteYes NAthan, i second that! i see you and only see how truly determined you are. You are a strong person to not quit on your dreams even though "others" dont think you should succeed. So i congratulate you on holding your head up highhhh:)
DeleteI think bullying stems from the media. We all watch TV pretty much and we pick up on bad habbits that we see happening on tv. Alot of the reality shows consist of back stabbing freinds...and as kids and teenagers watch, they think that it's normal and pick up on it. But what many dont realize is that reality tv shows are meant for entertainment and those people get paid for making drama up. Our world shouldnt mimic the stuff we see on tv ... but it does. This is just one little theory that i have... it may or may not be true. so object or agree with me if you like:)
ReplyDeleteI agree, but it's also learned from every other aspect of our lives; parents, friends, siblings, books, movies, radio, rallies, concerts, bands, everywhere.
DeleteBullies, believe it or not, are completely necessary in our lives. Now I'm not saying like bullying that causes columbine bullying, but maybe someone that gives you a hard time every once in awhile. Without a bully, a person would never know how to handle someone saying something about them in real life, and let's face it, school isn't supposed to be a utopia. I myself have never "bullied" someone. The worst thing I've done is mess around with my friends in which case, they would mess around with me too. Ultimately, everyone is different and everyone does different things, and without bullies, we might all just be the same.
ReplyDeleteThat is a very unique way of looking at the situation. I agree with you 100% because without all the negativity I would not be as strong as I am now.
DeleteWell bullying is very common everywhere. I experience it everyday and the secret is that there is no way that it does not effect you in SOME way. I can sit here and say "I don't care," or "it doesn't bother me" or the famous, "I just ignore them." In the long run bullying does and will get the best of you. You're going to have breakdowns and it is going to be tough, but what matters is whether or not you are able to pick up the pieces and continue on. I use all the negativity and use it to my advantage to form a stronger and better me. That is something that not everyone has the ability to do because it requires a lot on our part but the reward is great in the end. People fear what they do not understand and they can't seem to understand how a male can be a cheerleader without being gay. To them it makes no sense because we are brainwashed at a young age by the people we surround ourselves by at what society accepts and what it will not. Bullies are not mean they just do it out of their own insecurity. By seeing the faults you have that they don't have within themselves it's a way for them to feel better. What they seem to not realize is that their faults are greater than the person they attack because the victim accepts it instead of going off and making someone else feel worse. Bullying will never go away even when we are adults, but the question is how will you deal with it?
ReplyDeleteI think bullies do it because something bad has happened to them, and they just want that feeling of power. I was bullied in the 1st grade and the only reason I remember it was because it was so bad, and my sister used to get bullied all the time last year. I don't think bullying is right, but I think it happens so we have thicker skin and can deal with problems easier.
ReplyDeleteNathan,
ReplyDeleteI foremost cannot express how truly sorry I am for your hardships with being bullied. I give you utmost credit for enduring your experiences and responding positively throughout high school--it must take an immeasurably strong person.
As with anything, there are different degrees to which things can remain within reason. Some have mentioned on this blog post that they have are bullied everyday; of course, this treatment is not right by any means.
If there's one thing for certain, it's that I abhor the sight of someone being bullied. I'm willing to stand up for any person albeit the situation; the feeling of helplessness is too unbearable.
Honestly I think that alot of the kids that we attend school with bully others because of the simple fact that they cannot find anything better to do with there time besides placing labels on other people. Yes, we all have "clicks" that we belong to but do you really think that half of the kids here would survive without them? I hang out with alot of "weird" people crazy people "preps" "jocks" "popular people" but to be honest the people that are the most embracive people around me is my "weird" friends. They dont care what I wear, who I hang out with, why, or how I talk. But on the other side of this, none of us can honestly say that we have never labeled another person. it's part of the human race. Honestly people dont really bully me they just label me as someone that is scary and could break their arm in one move which is annoying and NOT TRUE but it's just one of those labels that we get.
ReplyDeleteP.S if youi really talk to me I'm like a huge teddy bear :)
well bullies, in my professional opinion are just trying to get attention from anyone they can,if its from teachers, students or family members they just want to be accepted too so they choose the payh that will get the most attention.
ReplyDelete