Hey y'all,
Yes, I said y'all, don't laugh, I used to live in Texas. :P
So I asked Mr. T if I could do this next post because I have a question that I want to ask all of you. This is going to sorta be like the post Mandy put but also sorta not. It is actually kinda the reverse of what she put.
So... Anyways...
I do this thing where i tend to put the "weight of the world" on my shoulders, and in the end, I'm always the person getting hurt. I take on everything, literally. I take care of my mom, trying to help my friend(who is starting to say some scary stuff), even do things for anyone else that needs my help, and whille doing everything for everyone else but myself, I end up getting really stressed out. Multiple people have yelled at me, and none of that will change my mind. In my opinion others are more important than myself, and I need to help make sure all of them are ok when they come to me for help. There is actually a lot more than what I am telling you with all this weight, there is just some of it that I wish to keep private. I'm sorry.
But this blog isn't about me, tha paragraph was only to introduce what my question is going to be.
This is something that I want to know from you guys. Do you put the "weight of the world" on your shoulders? Or are you someone that takes care of yourself along with others? What would you do if you were in a situation like mine? And if you feel uncomfortable to answering this type of question since it is a little personal, you could always just give advice to people like me if you feel like it.
I am actually joping to hear about some of these situations, I want to see if there is anything that I can do to help with mine.
Sincerely,
Purple People Eater
A.K.A.
Abadee
A.K.A.
Abby :)
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ReplyDeleteI messed it up completly! please ignore this!
DeleteI know what you mean! A lot of times I'll get pushed away for being nosy when I'm trying to help someone. Which I can understand, but I really just want to show I care. There are some things you just have to learn to say no to, though. Like with my mom. Sometimes her blood sugar will drop to the point of where she won't get out of bed and won'teat and ultimately we have to call an ambulance. I wanted more than anything to help her but my dad said we couldn't do anything. I now know that it's because her diabetes got worse and she can't sense when her blood sugar drops like she used to, but that's besides the point.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I started writing so I could have something for myself. Writing helps me dive into my own little world where everything is just the way I want it and not a hair is out of place. At first it was to get out feelings I would have when I got to mad or upset. Now it's about my own little world.
I know you can't start writing since you're in Creative Writing 2, which means you've been writing for at least a semester and half-ish, but you can use writing like I have. Give yourself your own perfect, little world to escape to.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I've made myself this perfectly cute little world where everything is overdramatic and amplified, along with characters that I've actually come to really love. And of course I feel bad when I screw their lives over, but in the end, everything works out because that's the way I intended it.
DeleteBut at the same time writing is a way to get my feelings out in a beautifully terrifying way. Why terrifying? Because there's meaning within meanings within another that you just found. I hide this for people to find, all while getting my point across. Writing is beautiful.
As for the first part~ yeah, I laughed :D
ReplyDeleteAs for the second~ yeah, I know what you mean.
As for the third~ I try to care more about others than myself, and sometimes it gets out of hand, like I end up not taking care of my OWN problems and responsibilities. I feel weird and selfish if I focus on myself to much, but at the same time I feel like I show off too much as well. It's an annoying feeling, paired with the thought that people are better than they seem, which isn't always the case.
Now then, for mommy and friend~ support them. Understand. Sometimes the best thing that you can do is just sit back and listen and say, "Yeah, I get it."
Sounds like you take things to a complicated degree quite often. Maybe that's good, Maybe not. You should try to allow things to present themselves as they are, and not what the world complicates them to be.
DeleteI am somebody who doesn't deal with drama too much. But when my friends come to me with a problem of their own, I listen and give advice and help the best I can. I don't pressure myself to resolve any issues a friend has with someone else though. I believe in a way that we all have crosses to bear in life and the way we go about dealing with it is our own responsibility. Yes,I vent to my friends, but no I don't put my own hardships upon them. I have my own personal problems that I am dealing with now, who can honestly say they don't? I think that our own happiness shouldcome first though. We have only one life, and if you yourself can be happy then you can make the people around you happy too. Soin a way,happiness is contagious... just like drama, sadness, anger, and laughter, and yawning.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with this block of text, especially the last line. Humans are mirrors, constantly reflecting the other mirrors around them, even though some mirrors are more dulled than others.
DeleteSometimes rather unfortunately, I am indeed one of those people who puts the "weight of the world" on their shoulders. I know exactly what you're talking about. I tend to focus on other people, and that often gets me hurt in the end; I believe I shared something like that on a previous blog post. I think one of the best things in the world is seeing a genuine smile on someone else's face. And that's what drives me to try and make them feel better: when they do not. However, the reverse of this is that I am also very empathetic, almost painfully so. When someone comes to me crying, and they tell what their problem is, I end up in tears too. I feel a certain *need* to help them; to make them laugh; to make them feel better in general. In fact, someone just yesterday (the name shall remain anonymous) came to me, very sad, and told me something that was happening in her life. Because she was so upset, it literally made me feel her pain the rest of the day; I was sad and distracted just like she was. I did my very best to make her feel better, and even gave her a hug. I can only hope it made enough of a difference.
ReplyDeleteEven though I am not in your exact position, I know how you feel. I've felt like that many times in my short life. I'm sure many people have. But the good thing is, it will always get better in the end. (:
I completely agree with you Sarah; I too tend to follow the emotions of others when they confide in me (I like to think it's a super power). My empathy for others, I feel, hurts me the most. I often find myself quite disturbed at times because of the things people go through. I can only be grateful for my wonderful life. Whenever I see someone distracted or sad I too use humor to try and release them from their funk. You know what they say; laughter is the best medicine!
DeleteThe times you wish there was a LOVE button on a blog reply... xD
DeleteYeah, Sarah, I know.
Deleteヽ(；▽；)ノ
I feel as if I should provide a lengthy comment on this, but after my recent writing binge, I find myself at quite a laziness for expressing myself through writing.
ReplyDeleteAnyway....
I think from my own thread on this blog, you get how I feel on this topic. For nearly my whole life I lived taking care of and caring for no one; not even myself. I don't quite know what exactly that was, or what it would've turned in to, but that's why I'm seeing my psychologist.
But around the start of Freshman year of high school, people started coming to me (one person in particular, though) and telling me things I didn't want to know about, as I said in my thread. That was when I started to care for other people, but still not myself.
Near the end of Freshman year, as some people may have noticed, I basically dropped off the face of the earth for the last....Three weeks? Month? Of school. I wasn't really ready before to really be open about what happened, but I am now.
The truth is, plain and simple: I had a mental breakdown. I won't go into detail (as to keeping this appropriate) but I will say that it taught me a lifelong, valuble lesson; self-worth. I never really cared much for myself until around the middle of this school year. I always felt that I was fat, that I was ugly, that I was stupid, that I was somehow retarded because of my social anxieties. But now, I find myself sometimes looking in the mirror and realizing that the person staring back isn't the chubby, somber person I recognized for so long. I no longer recognize myself, but I also no longer loathe myself. The person I see stands taller and holds a better aura about her. The person I see dresses how she wants, despite society's expectations of women, and is what she is: a boyish, deep, fidgety, bright, perverted, caring, confusing gay chick who gives not a single flying foop of what other people's opinions about her are.
And you know what? I'm not ashamed to admit that I love myself. Occassionally I am asked the question, "If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be?" And I reply, "Marilyn Manson. Because he's the poop."
So, little Meaniebutt Abby who often kicks me in the buttox, I'd have to say that I fall into the catagory of caring for both myself and for others, though I have been through all stages that you mentioned (or did not mention, perhaps.)
My last comment is straightly to you (haha, gay joke....) so if you didn't read my wall of text above (which I am surprised by) I at least want you to read a piece of advice I gained going through a mental Hell and back: if you can't care for yourself, you can't truly care for anyone else, and no one but you can make you care for yourself.
And now, I take my leave.
I do put the weight all on myself. It's hard because it gets so stressful, and like you said you just end up getting hurt. I think you should try to find time for yourself, or try and divide your time equally between everything because that's what I normally do.
ReplyDeleteThat's a greats thought because if you don't monitor yourself in these types of situations it is easy to lose yourself in the craziness. If you can radiate serenity then the people you help and radiate that too.
DeleteAbby and anyone else baring the "weight of the world", I know exactly how you feel. I also tend to put others before myself while expecting nothing in return. The weight can get a bit heavy sometimes. Often I feel like I carry my emotions as well as the emotions of others. I am quite the selfless person but being that way can get pretty intense at times. My advice to you Abby and anyone else is take the time for yourself to recover. If you do not enjoy your own company eventually you will break. Maybe go outside to an open area and just scream to bloody tops of your lungs!(British accent definitely needed). I find that any form of expression can help get things out into the open; holding feelings in can make a situation worse because the bad feelings have time to resonate with you. I hope that I have helped! :)
ReplyDeleteSpending time alone with yourself and your thoughts deserves more credit than it has. Sometimes, we need that extra half hour to think without the interruption of the unceasing affairs that life entails. Having a chance to contemplate the problems of life is crucial in the sense that it provides us a chance to avoid any irrational thoughts and think through them instead. The key is discerning the way in which you can confront everything at your own pace and by which ways this is possible. Well said, Krystal.
DeleteI agree with you, Krystal. It's easier to take on the weight of the world when you can catch your breath first. When you help someone out, celebrate. THEN you can move to the next. If you love helping people, it's never a waste of time, but it does take a long time. So just make sure you can get a break every once in a while.
DeleteAbby-
ReplyDeleteYour strength to confront others' problems so willingly while attempting to juggle your own is so inspirational. If people emulated this same selflessness, the world would undoubtedly be a better place.
In all honesty, I do not believe there is any certain way that will relieve the pain of carrying the "weight of the world" on your shoulders. That pain is inevitable, but it is worth the cost. At the same time, you can't lose sight of yourself; when you do, you will also lose sight of the good in others for which you are responsible. Only will this weight be unbearable when you forget the impact of one smile that you have caused.
okay your posts always make me smile and usually inspire me. i love your way of saying things and I completley areee with you.(:
DeleteIn a way everyone does put the weight of the world on their shoulders, it just depends on the person. I know for a fact I do this quite often and that's because I go looking for it. Whenever someone tells me I can't I work to take out the T and show everyone not to underestimate me. It is a stressful thing and in your case you're doing it from an emotional stand point. I choose to help anyone who wants it because I learned that you cant help those who don't want it. At that point they become either a lost cause or I wait for them to ask me. You then have to ask yourself if they are truly worth the effort. I have been bailing out a friend from trouble for years now and I finally kicked him out of my life because he was a waist of my time and had begun taking advantage of me. If the people are worth it then there's no need to not help them. With that said, if you do choose to help everyone that comes to you and with that comes the consequence of stress and sometimes a lot of pain and suffering. I assume you understand that and it goes with my saying. If you know what you're getting yourself into and what the consequences are and you still choose to take on that task, then you have no right to complain about it, but to embrace it. Sorry if that sounds mean but it's just the way I think of it. I'm not trying to insult you
ReplyDeleteI totally know how you feel. But at some point in the day you have do do something that you like to do. Like reading, writing, or playing video games. Just so you can relax and treat yourself like you do others. Because you can't change the fact that you are a genuinely nice person but you can change how your treat yourself:)
ReplyDeleteHellllllo:)
ReplyDeleteI know how you fee with this whole thing but the key to it is you can try to help out everyone but you just physically cannot do it while making yourself happy too. Yes you should help your mom but no you shouldn't help every single kid that comes your way with their problems. Your suffocating you're self with other peoples drama when you already have alot going onion your life as it is. Or you can even start to figure out the people that are there for you when you need them and it just there when they need you. With trying to help everyone around you they have to be willing to help you too. Take a load of and help the people that are there to help you.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I try not to let many problems fall on me, but when they do, it usually comes in bulk. For example, right now I have to finish I'll the work I missed from when I was gone by Friday. I can't remember the actual amount but it's about 7 assignments on top of my regularly recurring school work. Ugh. Well anyways, I guess guess only way to deal with this problem is to tighten up your act and dice headfirst into your issues.
ReplyDeleteAbby, i totally know how you feel. I tend to put others' needs before my own. I tend to hurt myself to the extremes because i try to go any distance to help anyone who needs it. All of my friends come to me for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to just listen to them. I am so empathetic because in one way or another i can relate to most things. In my short life, i have gone through so much, more than you would believe, and i am now just realizing how unhealthy my habit is. I was gone for the last 2 weeks, as most of you noticed, because i had a mental breakdown and was in the hospital. Being there i learned that you cant always put everyone before you, because if you arent healthy and cant take care of yourself, how in the world are you going to take care of somebody else?? I still am there for my friends, but i now know when i need to take a step back and deal with my life. I dont know where this quote comes from but i hear it alot and i live by it now. "how can you expect to love somebody else if you dont even love yourself?" Think about this the next time you try to put all the weight on your shoulders. && abbadeee i lovedd this post by the way(:
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